how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
