we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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