About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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