Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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