It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
