gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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