Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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