k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Randomize
