omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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