My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
