doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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