Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
