If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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