i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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