His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
