Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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