just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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