her vagine was all disorganized.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize