There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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