Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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