you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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