dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
