i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize