i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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