My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
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