I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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