So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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