Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
wow bdsm is so cute
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