Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You're earring is so big in my mouth
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
