So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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