Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
