That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
