The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
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