Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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