At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
