sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
