I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He passed out mid-signature
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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