fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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