Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize