But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Vodka?
Forever.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
