so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
