I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She made me pour olive oil on her.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize