Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize