Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize