its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
