Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She made me pour olive oil on her.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
