his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
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Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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