It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
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you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
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Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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