Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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