margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
