Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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