well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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