So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
