I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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