the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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